








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13895 | 30% |
| Smokes | 10698 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 10782 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 10489 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,627,478 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1711 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | h0ppi | 47% | 109 |
| #6 | loogah | 45% | 287 |
| #7 | Formerly[...] | 45% | 82 |
| #8 | jeryfizzle | 44% | 303 |
| #9 | drink.milk | 38% | 309 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeryfizzle | 19 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Ikou | 12 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | h0ppi | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | loogah | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | red bull guzzler | 7 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ikou | 955 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #2 | jeryfizzle | 879 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #3 | loogah | 834 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #4 | h0ppi | 515 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #5 | drink.milk | 510 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | red bull guzzler | +3.56 | 89 | 57 |
| #2 | Draven | +1.72 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | jeryfizzle | +1.15 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | Ikou | -0.08 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | loogah | -0.44 | 72 | 72 |





