








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4264 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5065 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3980 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3170 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,579,364 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | red bull guzzler | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | h0ppi | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | loogah | 50% | 128 |
| #4 | Ikou | 46% | 175 |
| #5 | Draven | 44% | 303 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draven | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Formerly[...] | 9 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | SiX | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | PV | 5 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | drink.milk | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draven | 1080 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | drink.milk | 397 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | loogah | 362 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Ikou | 328 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | h0ppi | 264 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draven | +2.23 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | red bull guzzler | +2.10 | 84 | 51 |
| #3 | jeryfizzle | +1.24 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | loogah | +0.28 | 72 | 72 |
| #5 | Formerly[...] | -0.24 | 73 | 71 |





