








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2394 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3255 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2892 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2600 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,533,874 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | red bull guzzler | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Formerly[...] | 39% | 71 |
| #3 | Draven | 38% | 309 |
| #4 | Ikou | 37% | 167 |
| #5 | SALTY | 재수 없어 | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | loogah | 34% | 130 |
| #9 | OhioPeaks | 26% | 31 |
| #10 | PV | 25% | 51 |
| #11 | SiX | 25% | 44 |
| #12 | h0ppi | 24% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeryfizzle | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Draven | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Formerly[...] | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | SiX | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Ikou | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draven | 1059 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | jeryfizzle | 617 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | loogah | 359 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ikou | 313 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | DadBodAaron | 239 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | red bull guzzler | +3.30 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | Draven | +2.52 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | jeryfizzle | +1.75 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | Formerly[...] | +0.96 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | Ikou | +0.54 | 76 | 63 |





