








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3729 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2307 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1579 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1954 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,608 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | R3ALM | 59% | 22 |
| #8 | bodhi's bussy | 58% | 45 |
| #9 | ocean | 50% | 18 |
| #10 | Don Hoglioni | 50% | 22 |
| #11 | aeth | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ocean | 4 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | cinibun | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | GT | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | bodhi's bussy | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | justdoitjustice | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aeth | 235 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | Don Hoglioni | 163 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bot Cooper | 64 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | cinibun | 61 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Smegma Male | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cacophony | +3.83 | 88 | 55 |
| #2 | Smegma Male | +3.27 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | Bot Cooper | +2.02 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | cinibun | +1.14 | 52 | 72 |
| #5 | GT | +1.12 | 51 | 27 |





