








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 190 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2715 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3190 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 897 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1647 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $874,476 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 491 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeni | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Cooper | 56% | 155 |
| #3 | R3ALM | 56% | 108 |
| #4 | dabodhisattva | 54% | 142 |
| #5 | GT | 53% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cooper | 56% | 155 |
| #3 | R3ALM | 56% | 108 |
| #4 | dabodhisattva | 54% | 142 |
| #5 | GT | 53% | 198 |
| #6 | justdoitjustice | 48% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GT | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | R3ALM | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | dabodhisattva | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | justdoitjustice | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Cooper | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cooper | 268 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | dabodhisattva | 206 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zeni | 157 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | R3ALM | 135 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | GT | 100 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeni | +4.24 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | xX_coprophile99_Xx | +2.73 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | GT | +1.58 | 58 | 30 |
| #4 | Cooper | +0.85 | 77 | 49 |
| #5 | R3ALM | +0.25 | 44 | 44 |





