










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 774 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 550 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7803 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2429 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5514 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4439 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5859 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,593,663 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1560 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeni | 67% | 58 |
| #2 | Cooper | 58% | 103 |
| #3 | R3ALM | 54% | 215 |
| #4 | xX_coprophile99_Xx | 53% | 198 |
| #5 | dabodhisattva | 50% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cooper | 58% | 103 |
| #3 | R3ALM | 54% | 215 |
| #4 | xX_coprophile99_Xx | 53% | 198 |
| #5 | dabodhisattva | 50% | 147 |
| #6 | justdoitjustice | 49% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xX_coprophile99_Xx | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | R3ALM | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Cooper | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | dabodhisattva | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | justdoitjustice | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cooper | 319 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | xX_coprophile99_Xx | 310 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | R3ALM | 308 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Zeni | 262 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | dabodhisattva | 198 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeni | +5.93 | 94 | 62 |
| #2 | xX_coprophile99_Xx | +3.04 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | Cooper | +1.79 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | GT | +0.87 | 57 | 37 |
| #5 | R3ALM | +0.62 | 44 | 43 |





