








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2313 | 50% |
| Smokes | 955 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 441 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 951 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $402,170 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeni | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Cooperphile | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | dabodhisattva | 61% | 51 |
| #4 | R3ALM | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | GT | 58% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dabodhisattva | 61% | 51 |
| #4 | R3ALM | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | GT | 58% | 103 |
| #6 | xX_coprophile99_Xx | 56% | 155 |
| #7 | justdoitjustice | 52% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xX_coprophile99_Xx | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | GT | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Zeni | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | justdoitjustice | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | R3ALM | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xX_coprophile99_Xx | 129 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | Zeni | 117 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #3 | R3ALM | 62 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | dabodhisattva | 57 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | justdoitjustice | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeni | +6.91 | 96 | 68 |
| #2 | xX_coprophile99_Xx | +1.59 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | Cooperphile | +1.59 | 82 | 50 |
| #4 | Cooper | +1.18 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | R3ALM | +0.42 | 43 | 37 |





