










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 289 | 10% |
| Smokes | 978 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 756 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 730 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $372,111 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Kape | 16 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | PaskaPasi | 10 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | rizzto | 10 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | ✪Jone | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | kukkahattumies | 9 | 0.0176 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Kape | 256 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hirvola | 144 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | rizzto | 103 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | PaskaPasi | 102 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ツ | 92 | 0.18 | 2 min |





