








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2277 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1376 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1840 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1574 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,074 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onnenporsas | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Floto | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | ✪ämääääh | 44% | 39 |
| #4 | kukkahattumies | 41% | 63 |
| #5 | ✪Kape | 41% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kukkahattumies | 20 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | ✪ämääääh | 16 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | ✪Kape | 14 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Tompppeli | 9 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | ✪Jone | 7 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Kape | 267 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | kukkahattumies | 205 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Floto | 156 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tompppeli | 154 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ツ | 126 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Kape | +3.20 | 61 | 64 |
| #2 | kukkahattumies | +2.88 | 52 | 54 |
| #3 | Floto | +2.72 | 50 | 70 |
| #4 | Onnenporsas | +1.60 | 48 | 69 |
| #5 | ✪Jone | +1.44 | 56 | 41 |





