








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 669 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3306 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2053 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2956 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1728 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,325,732 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 546 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ✪ツ | 42% | 36 |
| #12 | ✪Jone | 41% | 147 |
| #13 | Hirvola | 41% | 103 |
| #14 | PaskaPasi | 39% | 51 |
| #15 | Tompppeli | 30% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirvola | 273 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | ✪Jone | 169 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tompppeli | 146 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Floto | 116 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #5 | ꜰᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴀᴇꜱᴛʀᴏ | 99 | 0.24 | 2 min |





