








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Esplay | 14 matches | 1,414 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 531 | 18% |
| Smokes | 963 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 657 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 827 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $471,248 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonkler | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Mivvah | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Keanu Reeves | 61% | 31 |
| #4 | Sigge | 61% | 36 |
| #5 | Whemplar | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oxtra | 132 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #2 | Keanu Reeves | 79 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | ZAROSE | 49 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Slonk | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sigge | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZAROSE | +8.36 | 84 | 79 |
| #2 | Zewotwo | +5.14 | 55 | 48 |
| #3 | Oxtra | +3.05 | 53 | 72 |
| #4 | Jonkler | +2.05 | 48 | 64 |
| #5 | Tamex | +1.75 | 56 | 55 |





