








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Esplay | 14 matches | 1,505 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2022 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2573 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1390 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2091 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,460 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Whemplar | 56% | 16 |
| #8 | Keanu Reeves | 56% | 32 |
| #9 | Slonk | 56% | 25 |
| #10 | itzmanspelare<3 DROP.SKIN | 54% | 28 |
| #11 | mike hunt | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itzmanspelare<3 DROP.SKIN | 10 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | Jonkler | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Slonk | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Keanu Reeves | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Sigge | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonkler | 208 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | itzmanspelare<3 DROP.SKIN | 146 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #3 | Keanu Reeves | 91 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Slonk | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | ZAROSE | 57 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZAROSE | +6.06 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | Oxtra | +1.81 | 63 | 58 |
| #3 | Jonkler | +1.18 | 66 | 51 |
| #4 | Whemplar | +0.27 | 71 | 41 |
| #5 | Sigge | -0.10 | 31 | 37 |





