








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 58 matches | 1,649 | |
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1261 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1483 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1169 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1159 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,192,174 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙰𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | Nyekozu | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Jonkler | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Oxtra | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | ZAROSE | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | KVN | 51% | 75 |
| #9 | bloff | 50% | 22 |
| #10 | Whemplar | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | Keanu Reeves | 36% | 81 |
| #12 | Tamex | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keanu Reeves | 39 | 0.0249 |
| #2 | KVN | 24 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | 𝙰𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 | 5 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Nyekozu | 5 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | bloff | 4 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keanu Reeves | 150 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Nyekozu | 138 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | KVN | 125 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | ZAROSE | 98 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | 𝙰𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 | 93 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZAROSE | +4.05 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | bloff | +3.45 | 91 | 55 |
| #3 | Nyekozu | +2.84 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | 𝙰𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 | +2.23 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | KVN | +1.73 | 67 | 42 |





