








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2681 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3902 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3237 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3237 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,204 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrex ヅ | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Krusmister Rapé snusaren | 69% | 49 |
| #3 | phyx | 66% | 32 |
| #4 | Anchor | 64% | 77 |
| #5 | Arma2 | 62% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Doxhana | 52 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | Anchor | 44 | 0.0286 |
| #3 | Krusmister Rapé snusaren | 23 | 0.0237 |
| #4 | xJebbz | 16 | 0.0257 |
| #5 | N1ck_134 | 9 | 0.0261 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !Doxhana | 572 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Anchor | 271 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Krusmister Rapé snusaren | 117 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | N1ck_134 | 102 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #5 | phyx | 91 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrex ヅ | +4.74 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | HeZZy | +2.12 | 68 | 52 |
| #3 | phyx | +2.10 | 64 | 47 |
| #4 | !Doxhana | +1.73 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | Arma2 | +1.64 | 72 | 61 |





