








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 408 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2314 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1023 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2056 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1892 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,300 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | H4ZARD | 50% | 66 |
| #8 | Swarm | 50% | 131 |
| #9 | Voice | 49% | 208 |
| #10 | Sargent Gutta | 45% | 58 |
| #11 | PrDc_MudCAT | 36% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voice | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | DTDusty | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Swarm | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Sargent Gutta | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Clinically A Beast | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voice | 734 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Swarm | 538 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #3 | DTDusty | 254 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | ☢ | 242 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | H4ZARD | 181 | 0.13 | 4 min |





