








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 825 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6020 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6498 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4400 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6826 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,355,170 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1027 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sargent Gutta | 61% | 62 |
| #2 | Swarm | 58% | 79 |
| #3 | Voice | 53% | 146 |
| #4 | DTDusty | 53% | 78 |
| #5 | FPS_Panda | 52% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Voice | 53% | 146 |
| #4 | DTDusty | 53% | 78 |
| #5 | FPS_Panda | 52% | 92 |
| #6 | Read | 51% | 89 |
| #7 | TheBeanEater12 | 36% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voice | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Read | 12 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Sargent Gutta | 10 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | DTDusty | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | FPS_Panda | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voice | 504 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Swarm | 381 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | Read | 228 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sargent Gutta | 181 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | DTDusty | 167 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢ | +3.42 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | DTDusty | +0.88 | 80 | 43 |
| #3 | TheBeanEater12 | +0.21 | 60 | 43 |
| #4 | Swarm | -0.03 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | Read | -0.05 | 61 | 53 |





