










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1689 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 541 matches | ||
| Premier | 528 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15230 | 30% |
| Smokes | 11299 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 10116 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 14265 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,631,347 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1975 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hadrian | 59% | 182 |
| #2 | H4ZARD | 59% | 139 |
| #3 | KingPyroe | 57% | 240 |
| #4 | lolkid007 | 57% | 83 |
| #5 | dusty | 55% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Stinky PooPoo Piss Fart Pants | 52% | 124 |
| #11 | Sargent Gutta | 51% | 327 |
| #12 | DTDusty | 49% | 330 |
| #13 | FPS_Panda | 49% | 208 |
| #14 | Your Mom | 36% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DTDusty | 30 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Sargent Gutta | 29 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Clinically A Beast | 21 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Swarm | 14 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Your Mom | 13 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swarm | 2445 | 0.23 | 61 min |
| #2 | Sargent Gutta | 949 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | DTDusty | 922 | 0.13 | 24 min |
| #4 | burp | 776 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #5 | Hadrian | 715 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢ | +2.98 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | Hadrian | +2.04 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | DTDusty | +1.29 | 78 | 50 |
| #4 | H4ZARD | +1.15 | 66 | 54 |
| #5 | dusty | +1.02 | 81 | 51 |





