








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 339 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2301 | 60% |
| HE Grenades | 138 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 1033 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,528 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spray2God | 50% | 16 |
| #2 | Lindsay Muddle | 42% | 26 |
| #3 | Sabrina Carpenter | 39% | 41 |
| #4 | toaster | 39% | 96 |
| #5 | ItsDaMurphy | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lindsay Muddle | 42% | 26 |
| #3 | Sabrina Carpenter | 39% | 41 |
| #4 | toaster | 39% | 96 |
| #5 | ItsDaMurphy | 35% | 40 |
| #6 | Riley Mackay | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toaster | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Sabrina Carpenter | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Spray2God | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | ItsDaMurphy | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toaster | 186 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | ItsDaMurphy | 84 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sabrina Carpenter | 67 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Riley Mackay | 64 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lindsay Muddle | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsDaMurphy | +2.33 | 44 | 42 |
| #2 | Spray2God | +0.43 | 13 | 46 |
| #3 | Lindsay Muddle | +0.08 | 51 | 24 |
| #4 | toaster | -0.18 | 28 | 43 |
| #5 | PrinceOK10 | -0.71 | 57 | 28 |





