










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 832 | 31% |
| Smokes | 708 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 459 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 700 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,580 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caponey never broke #iwnl | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | my trough = your peak | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | axedonis | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | dr suck | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | ★anal | 42% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dr suck | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | ★anal | 42% | 93 |
| #6 | Aviso | 39% | 71 |
| #7 | TheKronMan | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | Jesus | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★anal | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Aviso | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | TheKronMan | 3 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | my trough = your peak | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aviso | 185 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | axedonis | 123 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | ★anal | 76 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | my trough = your peak | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | dr suck | 19 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my trough = your peak | +4.77 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | dr suck | +1.00 | 57 | 66 |
| #3 | caponey never broke #iwnl | +0.84 | 74 | 68 |
| #4 | ★anal | +0.74 | 86 | 30 |
| #5 | Aviso | +0.39 | 69 | 61 |





