








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6396 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5403 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1929 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 4407 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,429,002 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ★anal | 51% | 270 |
| #8 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 48% | 82 |
| #9 | Jesus | 47% | 180 |
| #10 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 39% | 71 |
| #11 | Stonk | 38% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axedonis | 616 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | ★anal | 331 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | dr suck | 202 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 195 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 156 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my trough = your peak | +5.63 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | caponey never broke #iwnl | +3.00 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | Aviso | +2.09 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | dr suck | +1.89 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | ★anal | +0.69 | 80 | 41 |





