








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5372 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3431 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2519 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2496 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $944,037 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my trough = your peak | 68% | 41 |
| #2 | dr suck | 60% | 80 |
| #3 | Jesus | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | Aviso | 55% | 139 |
| #5 | ★anal | 54% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Aviso | 55% | 139 |
| #5 | ★anal | 54% | 182 |
| #6 | caponey never broke #iwnl | 53% | 30 |
| #7 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 51% | 71 |
| #8 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★anal | 18 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Aviso | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | dr suck | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aviso | 433 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | dr suck | 264 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | ★anal | 228 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 123 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | my trough = your peak | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my trough = your peak | +4.67 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | dr suck | +2.68 | 59 | 67 |
| #3 | caponey never broke #iwnl | +2.66 | 82 | 59 |
| #4 | Aviso | +0.30 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | ★anal | +0.25 | 80 | 44 |





