








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 803 | 28% |
| Smokes | 514 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 696 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 860 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,612 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Eliddinn | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | Aviso | 57% | 53 |
| #9 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 56% | 39 |
| #10 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 55% | 29 |
| #11 | Jesus | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★anal | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Aviso | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | axedonis | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | dr suck | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axedonis | 184 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Aviso | 178 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | ★anal | 110 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 86 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | dr suck | 69 | 0.18 | 2 min |





