








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 430 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6258 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4683 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5853 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4147 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,374,961 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0rdens | 54% | 41 |
| #2 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | 50% | 164 |
| #3 | emil | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | Hades | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Krabbedal | 45% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | 50% | 164 |
| #3 | emil | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | Hades | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Krabbedal | 45% | 102 |
| #6 | MultiNormann | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krabbedal | 36 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | 21 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | emil | 12 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | n0rdens | 8 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Hades | 5 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | 724 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | Krabbedal | 237 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hades | 173 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | emil | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | MultiNormann | 83 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0rdens | +2.08 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | Benn-Tenzz︻デ 一 | +1.92 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | -0.28 | 65 | 74 |
| #4 | Hades | -0.43 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | MultiNormann | -0.86 | 59 | 56 |





