








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 824 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 447 matches | ||
| Wingman | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 114 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4049 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7137 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5907 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4831 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2707 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,306,843 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3899 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Princess Maja res | 64% | 50 |
| #2 | ott | 50% | 112 |
| #3 | Mr_Weedar420 | 48% | 73 |
| #4 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | 47% | 88 |
| #5 | Benn-Tenzz︻デ 一 | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Benn-Tenzz︻デ 一 | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | Krabbedal | 45% | 166 |
| #7 | MultiNormann | 43% | 178 |
| #8 | Locomotive engineer | 36% | 96 |
| #9 | n0rdens | 36% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krabbedal | 43 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | 20 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | MultiNormann | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Princess Maja res | 9 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | n0rdens | 7 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | 389 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | MultiNormann | 365 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Krabbedal | 231 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Locomotive engineer | 122 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Benn-Tenzz︻デ 一 | 111 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Princess Maja res | +5.39 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Benn-Tenzz︻デ 一 | +3.43 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | n0rdens | +3.17 | 86 | 55 |
| #4 | ott | +2.42 | 58 | 42 |
| #5 | TeNsu Son Of Satan | +2.03 | 74 | 74 |





