








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 721 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 196 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2461 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3030 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5600 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5168 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,055,226 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoddy RANDO | 59% | 182 |
| #2 | 5|BoB ™ | 56% | 93 |
| #3 | SquirtEEZy | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Bot Rick | 54% | 71 |
| #5 | Frosty | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pandabeer | 52% | 50 |
| #8 | Grimreaper | 50% | 44 |
| #9 | PastorDolph | 50% | 149 |
| #10 | woracori | 49% | 51 |
| #11 | Ragnarok | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoddy RANDO | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | PastorDolph | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | de_iRicktastic | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Bot Rick | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | 5|BoB ™ | 7 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PastorDolph | 648 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | Shoddy RANDO | 511 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | de_iRicktastic | 408 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | 5|BoB ™ | 381 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | Bot Rick | 303 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoddy RANDO | +2.39 | 50 | 69 |
| #2 | Grimreaper | +1.81 | 52 | 59 |
| #3 | 5|BoB ™ | +1.71 | 59 | 71 |
| #4 | SquirtEEZy | +1.25 | 35 | 58 |
| #5 | Frosty | +1.03 | 51 | 53 |





