










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2617 | 40% |
| Smokes | 409 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 1416 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2067 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,403,714 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sh1nobi | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Nikolai❤ | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | de_iRicktastic | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | ॐGokuॐ | 59% | 46 |
| #5 | SquirtEEZy | 57% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Shoddy RANDO | 54% | 154 |
| #8 | PastorDolph | 54% | 56 |
| #9 | Dragon | 52% | 65 |
| #10 | Fang | 50% | 16 |
| #11 | ALIMATRIX | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SquirtEEZy | 18 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Shoddy RANDO | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | ॐGokuॐ | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Nikolai❤ | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | PastorDolph | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoddy RANDO | 520 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | PastorDolph | 245 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | ॐGokuॐ | 146 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | SquirtEEZy | 141 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | de_iRicktastic | 107 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikolai❤ | +2.73 | 69 | 65 |
| #2 | Shoddy RANDO | +1.67 | 49 | 69 |
| #3 | ॐGokuॐ | +1.64 | 71 | 43 |
| #4 | Frosty | +1.31 | 50 | 54 |
| #5 | Fang | +0.08 | 40 | 65 |





