








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 844 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 498 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 159 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8986 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6717 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7780 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6554 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,355,543 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1008 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1lent | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | VaRDiNaL | 61% | 76 |
| #3 | Frosty | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | Dustonian | 56% | 43 |
| #5 | PastorDolph | 54% | 311 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Dragon | 52% | 121 |
| #8 | Soletread | 51% | 41 |
| #9 | ALIMATRIX | 49% | 113 |
| #10 | Ragnarok | 49% | 138 |
| #11 | ImSomeOne | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PastorDolph | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ALIMATRIX | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Shoddy RANDO | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Ragnarok | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Dragon | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PastorDolph | 1370 | 0.21 | 38 min |
| #2 | Ragnarok | 504 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | Soletread | 261 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #4 | ALIMATRIX | 240 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Shoddy RANDO | 227 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoddy RANDO | +2.42 | 51 | 66 |
| #2 | Frosty | +1.89 | 54 | 48 |
| #3 | ALIMATRIX | +1.28 | 52 | 54 |
| #4 | ImSomeOne | +0.30 | 60 | 53 |
| #5 | Dragon | +0.16 | 55 | 46 |





