








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3171 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1912 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1150 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1354 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,142 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | North | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | bennette | 57% | 56 |
| #3 | Fernando Alonso | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | Zarition | 46% | 50 |
| #5 | Blur | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fernando Alonso | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | Zarition | 46% | 50 |
| #5 | Blur | 46% | 70 |
| #6 | Zeb | 27% | 11 |
| #7 | Teppa | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fernando Alonso | 16 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | bennette | 10 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Blur | 9 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Zarition | 9 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Teppa | 3 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blur | 495 | 0.35 | 13 min |
| #2 | Zarition | 322 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #3 | North | 220 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | bennette | 208 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Fernando Alonso | 179 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | North | +2.43 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | Zeb | +2.27 | 81 | 34 |
| #3 | Blur | +1.94 | 73 | 76 |
| #4 | Teppa | +0.66 | 64 | 52 |
| #5 | Zarition | +0.63 | 45 | 68 |





