








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13019 | 39% |
| Smokes | 8778 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5445 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6221 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $686,967 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeb | 55% | 64 |
| #2 | North | 53% | 225 |
| #3 | Fernando Alonso | 52% | 401 |
| #4 | bennette | 50% | 223 |
| #5 | Zarition | 49% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fernando Alonso | 52% | 401 |
| #4 | bennette | 50% | 223 |
| #5 | Zarition | 49% | 182 |
| #6 | Teppa | 46% | 111 |
| #7 | shubavirus | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fernando Alonso | 60 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | bennette | 52 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Zarition | 29 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Teppa | 17 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | North | 16 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | North | 1020 | 0.22 | 28 min |
| #2 | Zarition | 809 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | Fernando Alonso | 799 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #4 | bennette | 784 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #5 | shubavirus | 498 | 0.36 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeb | +1.98 | 83 | 46 |
| #2 | Blur | +1.84 | 74 | 75 |
| #3 | North | +0.89 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | Teppa | +0.04 | 63 | 48 |
| #5 | Fernando Alonso | -0.80 | 52 | 49 |





