








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3780 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1881 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2377 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1480 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,377,526 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shubavirus | 57% | 56 |
| #2 | Zarition | 53% | 137 |
| #3 | North | 52% | 117 |
| #4 | Blur | 50% | 223 |
| #5 | Fernando Alonso | 47% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | North | 52% | 117 |
| #4 | Blur | 50% | 223 |
| #5 | Fernando Alonso | 47% | 249 |
| #6 | Teppa | 45% | 65 |
| #7 | 3Darragh | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fernando Alonso | 57 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Zarition | 29 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Blur | 19 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Teppa | 13 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | North | 7 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blur | 1878 | 0.42 | 46 min |
| #2 | Zarition | 708 | 0.27 | 16 min |
| #3 | North | 612 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #4 | Fernando Alonso | 464 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | shubavirus | 446 | 0.39 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blur | +3.29 | 73 | 75 |
| #2 | North | +3.02 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | Zarition | +1.00 | 46 | 58 |
| #4 | 3Darragh | +0.24 | 61 | 47 |
| #5 | Teppa | -0.02 | 60 | 46 |





