








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 646 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4475 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5330 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5279 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4696 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,350,768 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeb | 55% | 66 |
| #2 | North | 52% | 225 |
| #3 | shubavirus | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | Blur | 52% | 401 |
| #5 | Teppa | 49% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | shubavirus | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | Blur | 52% | 401 |
| #5 | Teppa | 49% | 119 |
| #6 | Zarition | 48% | 163 |
| #7 | bennette | 47% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bennette | 62 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Blur | 35 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Zarition | 35 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Zeb | 21 | 0.0156 |
| #5 | Teppa | 20 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blur | 3224 | 0.39 | 81 min |
| #2 | North | 1109 | 0.24 | 33 min |
| #3 | bennette | 985 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #4 | Zarition | 817 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #5 | shubavirus | 650 | 0.36 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeb | +2.40 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Blur | +1.74 | 73 | 75 |
| #3 | North | +1.07 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Fernando Alonso | +0.31 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | Teppa | -0.04 | 63 | 54 |





