










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18 | 8% |
| Smokes | 66 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 72 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 58 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,911 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bryn Spencer | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Aidi | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | 𝔐𝔇𝔈𝔄 | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | 𝕽𝖎𝕜ℤ𝖓𝖆𝖙0𝖗 | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | Faint | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕽𝖎𝕜ℤ𝖓𝖆𝖙0𝖗 | 13 | 0.0253 |
| #2 | Smurf on swääger | 4 | 0.0313 |
| #3 | 𝔐𝔇𝔈𝔄 | 3 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | XPy | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | c h l l i i | 2 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕽𝖎𝕜ℤ𝖓𝖆𝖙0𝖗 | 82 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | c h l l i i | 30 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #3 | Smurf on swääger | 26 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #4 | Bryn Spencer | 12 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | XPy | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |





