








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 302 | 18% |
| Smokes | 801 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 395 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 216 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,039 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | verottaja | 48% | 21 |
| #2 | mitrö | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | mcberd | 34% | 122 |
| #4 | Noah | 30% | 27 |
| #5 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | verottaja | 48% | 21 |
| #2 | mitrö | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | mcberd | 34% | 122 |
| #4 | Noah | 30% | 27 |
| #5 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcberd | 59 | 0.0264 |
| #2 | Noah | 6 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | verottaja | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | mitrö | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcberd | 545 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Noah | 94 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | verottaja | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | mitrö | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 24 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | +4.42 | 66 | 49 |
| #2 | verottaja | +2.88 | 62 | 49 |
| #3 | mcberd | +0.90 | 46 | 64 |
| #4 | buk | -1.20 | 61 | 27 |
| #5 | mitrö | -2.59 | 27 | 51 |





