








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2947 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2036 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2454 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1357 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,170,173 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noah | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | mcberd | 53% | 127 |
| #3 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | buk | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | Kanttila | 47% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noah | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | mcberd | 53% | 127 |
| #3 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | buk | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | Kanttila | 47% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcberd | 30 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Kanttila | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | buk | 5 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Noah | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcberd | 509 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Kanttila | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Noah | 69 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | buk | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | +3.31 | 69 | 46 |
| #2 | Kanttila | +1.29 | 43 | 39 |
| #3 | verottaja | +0.19 | 61 | 50 |
| #4 | mcberd | -0.05 | 43 | 73 |
| #5 | buk | -2.31 | 49 | 17 |





