








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 466 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




142 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7530 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7305 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4145 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5183 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,038,469 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 776 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | verottaja | 53% | 127 |
| #2 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 51% | 281 |
| #3 | Noah | 44% | 108 |
| #4 | mitrö | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | buk | 34% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | verottaja | 53% | 127 |
| #2 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 51% | 281 |
| #3 | Noah | 44% | 108 |
| #4 | mitrö | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | buk | 34% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buk | 38 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | Noah | 20 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 18 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | verottaja | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | mitrö | 5 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | 337 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | Noah | 316 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | verottaja | 294 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | mitrö | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | buk | 60 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PastoriKyrpäkoski | +2.80 | 64 | 48 |
| #2 | verottaja | +0.35 | 60 | 50 |
| #3 | mcberd | -0.16 | 46 | 67 |
| #4 | buk | -1.60 | 57 | 23 |
| #5 | mitrö | -3.10 | 22 | 57 |





