








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 190 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3070 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2915 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2325 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3806 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $989,517 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir Dick Wad III | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | solus | 60% | 195 |
| #3 | Ruttsu | 56% | 148 |
| #4 | Shadowman on the hill | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | Ashton | 53% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ruttsu | 56% | 148 |
| #4 | Shadowman on the hill | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | Ashton | 53% | 102 |
| #6 | ule | 53% | 36 |
| #7 | Mez | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solus | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Ashton | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Sir Dick Wad III | 6 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Mez | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Ruttsu | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solus | 719 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | Ashton | 648 | 0.31 | 18 min |
| #3 | Ruttsu | 614 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #4 | Mez | 225 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | Shadowman on the hill | 177 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solus | +1.90 | 67 | 71 |
| #2 | Shadowman on the hill | +1.69 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | SL1CK | +0.90 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | Ashton | +0.58 | 85 | 67 |
| #5 | Ruttsu | +0.42 | 76 | 68 |





