








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 994 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1438 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 744 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1037 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $394,182 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elixir | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | s4k | 59% | 61 |
| #3 | Dick and Balls | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Hyperion | 56% | 66 |
| #5 | 3trn | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Name the Compound | 33% | 24 |
| #9 | Flint and STEEL | 30% | 10 |
| #10 | absolute twust | 27% | 26 |
| #11 | Jewmanji | 25% | 8 |
| #12 | bourgeur from agartha | 19% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elixir | 13 | 0.0230 |
| #2 | s4k | 11 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Hooman | 11 | 0.0234 |
| #4 | Hyperion | 9 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | absolute twust | 5 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperion | 196 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | s4k | 117 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | absolute twust | 86 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Elixir | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Name the Compound | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Name the Compound | +3.15 | 71 | 41 |
| #2 | Hyperion | +2.73 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | Dick and Balls | +2.65 | 80 | 39 |
| #4 | melvin | +1.64 | 78 | 58 |
| #5 | Dwcollier | +1.08 | 71 | 41 |





