








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2507 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2731 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2531 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2447 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,281,820 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papa drew | 56% | 62 |
| #2 | iicantsee | 55% | 60 |
| #3 | Donald J. Trump | 55% | 104 |
| #4 | Flying Jew | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | ƙαρ | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minimum Affect | 46 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | Donald J. Trump | 36 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | Chicken BigMac | 17 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | iicantsee | 10 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | papa drew | 8 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ƙαρ | +5.14 | 80 | 73 |
| #2 | ✪ blanco_- | +2.05 | 70 | 52 |
| #3 | Donald J. Trump | +1.16 | 67 | 59 |
| #4 | Minimum Affect | +1.02 | 53 | 63 |
| #5 | Flying Jew | +0.22 | 76 | 34 |





