








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 976 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 470 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 235 matches | ||
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,443 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5953 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3235 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4091 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5164 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,401,798 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3600 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕯eTox Brandon Poochi | 57% | 77 |
| #2 | Donald J. Trump | 55% | 155 |
| #3 | ✪ blanco_- | 55% | 60 |
| #4 | ƙαρ | 53% | 275 |
| #5 | Flying Jew | 47% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Flying Jew | 47% | 224 |
| #6 | Minimum Affect | 47% | 849 |
| #7 | Widest Rapper on Earth | 45% | 218 |
| #8 | papa drew | 41% | 225 |
| #9 | Chicken BigMac | 39% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minimum Affect | 322 | 0.0192 |
| #2 | Flying Jew | 83 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | Widest Rapper on Earth | 68 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | papa drew | 64 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | Donald J. Trump | 59 | 0.0197 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minimum Affect | 3196 | 0.19 | 72 min |
| #2 | ƙαρ | 1705 | 0.30 | 45 min |
| #3 | Donald J. Trump | 599 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | papa drew | 382 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | Widest Rapper on Earth | 241 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ƙαρ | +7.37 | 83 | 70 |
| #2 | Donald J. Trump | +2.82 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | Minimum Affect | +1.84 | 48 | 64 |
| #4 | ✪ blanco_- | +1.63 | 72 | 40 |
| #5 | Flying Jew | +1.55 | 69 | 47 |





