








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3570 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4055 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3052 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3772 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,445,291 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | José Coolio | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | Brodobagins | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | TwiztedAgony | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | 𝔍𝔞𝔪𝔟𝔬 | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | Ed0 | 45% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 𝔍𝔞𝔪𝔟𝔬 | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | Ed0 | 45% | 148 |
| #6 | Lissie Mcguire | 43% | 110 |
| #7 | Chuck's Cuck | 42% | 48 |
| #8 | IXPotterXI ™ | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ed0 | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Lissie Mcguire | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Brodobagins | 5 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Chuck's Cuck | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | IXPotterXI ™ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lissie Mcguire | 487 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | Ed0 | 311 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | 𝔍𝔞𝔪𝔟𝔬 | 209 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | IXPotterXI ™ | 169 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | José Coolio | 162 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lissie Mcguire | +2.02 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | Ed0 | +1.90 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | Penguinflops | +1.48 | 82 | 49 |
| #4 | José Coolio | +0.33 | 63 | 74 |
| #5 | Chuck's Cuck | -0.27 | 58 | 61 |





