








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 374 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12141 | 37% |
| Smokes | 8864 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4926 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 6516 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,343,941 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dami7o6 | 52% | 54 |
| #2 | Chica enthusiast | 51% | 80 |
| #3 | volcel B0ris | 50% | 108 |
| #4 | Randy Clark | 48% | 130 |
| #5 | haro1d | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Chica enthusiast | 51% | 80 |
| #3 | volcel B0ris | 50% | 108 |
| #4 | Randy Clark | 48% | 130 |
| #5 | haro1d | 47% | 45 |
| #6 | Anal With Ur Mom | 45% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anal With Ur Mom | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Randy Clark | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | volcel B0ris | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Chica enthusiast | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randy Clark | 669 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #2 | Anal With Ur Mom | 436 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Chica enthusiast | 319 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | volcel B0ris | 306 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | dami7o6 | 160 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joyous Lady 3225 | +1.45 | 60 | 74 |
| #2 | Anal With Ur Mom | +0.35 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Chica enthusiast | -0.10 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | haro1d | -0.62 | 47 | 54 |
| #5 | dami7o6 | -1.05 | 54 | 53 |





