








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2338 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1684 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1474 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1566 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,878 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holy Paul | 54% | 59 |
| #2 | Kip Carry (Xem/Cem/Snacksexual) | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Fully Autistic | 50% | 72 |
| #4 | Fnatic | Dmitri | 41% | 27 |
| #5 | Sarahpride (she/her) | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holy Paul | 245 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Fully Autistic | 235 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bread | 132 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | THELAW (Xe/Xem) [Non-bin] | 130 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cucumber | 100 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holy Paul | +6.05 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | Sarahpride (she/her) | +4.15 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | Fnatic | Dmitri | +3.35 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | THELAW (Xe/Xem) [Non-bin] | +0.22 | 54 | 61 |
| #5 | Shep Gold | -0.42 | 55 | 55 |





