








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3689 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2168 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2317 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1678 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $996,419 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kip Carry (Xem/Cem/Snacksexual) | 43% | 56 |
| #7 | Fully Autistic | 43% | 150 |
| #8 | holy Paul | 42% | 52 |
| #9 | Grttlolo (balzakie) | 36% | 107 |
| #10 | Shep Gold | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fully Autistic | 480 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | holy Paul | 250 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sarahpride (she/her) | 148 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jeralleto (They/Them) | 139 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Grttlolo (balzakie) | 137 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holy Paul | +5.55 | 69 | 56 |
| #2 | Sarahpride (she/her) | +5.53 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | Fnatic | Dmitri | +2.67 | 55 | 47 |
| #4 | THELAW (Xe/Xem) [Non-bin] | +1.14 | 55 | 63 |
| #5 | Jeralleto (They/Them) | -0.49 | 49 | 44 |





