








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4594 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3580 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2182 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2147 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $917,395 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Grttlolo (balzakie) | 45% | 135 |
| #7 | Sarahpride (she/her) | 45% | 40 |
| #8 | Jeralleto (They/Them) | 43% | 173 |
| #9 | THELAW (Xe/Xem) [Non-bin] | 43% | 150 |
| #10 | Kip Carry (Xem/Cem/Snacksexual) | 41% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THELAW (Xe/Xem) [Non-bin] | 642 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | holy Paul | 446 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | Shep Gold | 198 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Grttlolo (balzakie) | 194 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jeralleto (They/Them) | 176 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarahpride (she/her) | +5.84 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | holy Paul | +5.55 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | Michiel | +5.11 | 84 | 49 |
| #4 | Fnatic | Dmitri | +3.95 | 67 | 53 |
| #5 | THELAW (Xe/Xem) [Non-bin] | +0.77 | 49 | 59 |





