








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1900 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 705 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




347 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1019 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1512 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 4504 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 3818 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,395,380 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 808 crashout | 137 | 0.0301 |
| #2 | high estrogen son | 60 | 0.0259 |
| #3 | chinese semiconductor irony | 57 | 0.0389 |
| #4 | kewta | 42 | 0.0247 |
| #5 | johnny dharma | 41 | 0.0293 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 808 crashout | 348 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | im learning af | 285 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | high estrogen son | 137 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | benadryl | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪StunnaBoy 3 hunna | 90 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im learning af | +2.24 | 69 | 47 |
| #2 | high estrogen son | +2.22 | 72 | 29 |
| #3 | chinese semiconductor irony | +1.91 | 34 | 15 |
| #4 | benadryl | +1.46 | 64 | 39 |
| #5 | ✪StunnaBoy 3 hunna | +1.45 | 63 | 37 |





