








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




197 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 899 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1451 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 444 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1996 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $977,291 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2618 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ✪StunnaBoy 3 hunna | 38% | 78 |
| 36% | 108 | ||
| 35% | 40 | ||
| 33% | 36 | ||
| 27% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 70 | 0.0337 | ||
| #2 | 808 crashout | 69 | 0.0286 |
| #3 | benadryl | 53 | 0.0251 |
| #4 | johnny dharma | 47 | 0.0276 |
| #5 | walmart lean | 44 | 0.0293 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benadryl | 196 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | 808 crashout | 175 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪StunnaBoy 3 hunna | 118 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| 71 | 0.08 | 1 min | ||
| 50 | 0.02 | 1 min |





