








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 190 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




138 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2007 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2079 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1356 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1136 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,012,129 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | yoot | 50% | 36 |
| #7 | 808 crashout | 46% | 71 |
| #8 | Scyphax | 43% | 53 |
| 43% | 86 | ||
| #10 | tabo | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walmart lean | 54 | 0.0229 |
| #2 | 808 crashout | 39 | 0.0272 |
| 34 | 0.0492 | ||
| 24 | 0.0135 | ||
| #5 | benadryl | 8 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 808 crashout | 160 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Scyphax | 105 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | benadryl | 82 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| 62 | 0.03 | 2 min | ||
| #5 | TRADING WIFE FOR BUTTERFLY KNIFE | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | high estrogen son | +2.25 | 75 | 35 |
| #2 | benadryl | +2.21 | 72 | 53 |
| #3 | walmart lean | +1.51 | 58 | 26 |
| #4 | 808 crashout | +0.85 | 57 | 36 |
| -0.25 | 66 | 31 |





