








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 491 matches | ||
| Wingman | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5582 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5564 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5646 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2994 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $839,934 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <!CarUmba!> | 53% | 62 |
| #2 | Time ⧖ | 53% | 80 |
| #3 | Klonkel | 50% | 76 |
| #4 | Sondrix | 50% | 104 |
| #5 | sttr4ke 19yo | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | HasNoNick | 46% | 213 |
| #7 | JornHegg | 44% | 159 |
| #8 | Nornia | 37% | 81 |
| #9 | h3xa9on | 36% | 53 |
| #10 | Milabeck | 32% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HasNoNick | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | JornHegg | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Sondrix | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | h3xa9on | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Klonkel | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HasNoNick | 592 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Klonkel | 268 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | JornHegg | 168 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sondrix | 149 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Nornia | 145 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sttr4ke 19yo | +3.00 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | -RainNesorus⭕⃤ | +1.75 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | h3xa9on | +1.09 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | Klonkel | -0.04 | 48 | 69 |
| #5 | JornHegg | -0.46 | 42 | 59 |





