








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 921 | 38% |
| Smokes | 905 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 370 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 253 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $112,241 of utility $18 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SunnyFarms | 46% | 246 |
| #8 | Ligma Awareness | 45% | 22 |
| #9 | Deveneb | 43% | 30 |
| #10 | Fart_Garfunkel | 42% | 90 |
| #11 | xyan UNWASHED ASF | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Intel® Core™ i5-9600K Processor | 37 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Nick1one | 37 | 0.0137 |
| #3 | SunnyFarms | 35 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Fart_Garfunkel | 27 | 0.0146 |
| #5 | xyan UNWASHED ASF | 11 | 0.0160 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Intel® Core™ i5-9600K Processor | 460 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | DAWANGJerry | 207 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nick1one | 206 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Deveneb | 172 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #5 | SunnyFarms | 117 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Intel® Core™ i5-9600K Processor | +4.17 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | Brandon. | +2.99 | 85 | 48 |
| #3 | xyan UNWASHED ASF | +2.59 | 84 | 50 |
| #4 | SunnyFarms | +1.74 | 69 | 27 |
| #5 | Fart_Garfunkel | -0.32 | 63 | 35 |





