








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2719 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1964 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 935 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1426 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,140 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fart_Garfunkel | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | Nick1one | 47% | 47 |
| #6 | Intel® Core™ i5-9600K Processor | 46% | 90 |
| #7 | SunnyFarms | 45% | 82 |
| #8 | Ligma Awareness | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TaxEvasion | 13 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Nick1one | 12 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Intel® Core™ i5-9600K Processor | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Fart_Garfunkel | 9 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | SunnyFarms | 8 | 0.0047 |





